Gone, but not forgotten
By Gillian Graham
Staff Writer
Amy Labonte spent nine months carrying her daughter and a few short hours holding her after she was born still.
Yet Lily lives on in her mother’s heart and guides her to work with other families to raise awareness about stillborn babies and honor each “angel baby.” Labonte, who lives in Saco with her husband, Jason, and their three other children, has teamed up with other parents of stillborn babies to organize Noah’s Walk for Remembrance and Hope on Oct. 16.
The goal of Noah’s Walk is twofold: The event will raise money to support research, education and awareness efforts aimed at reducing the number of people who experience pregnancy and infant loss. It also will honor babies who have been lost and provide parents the opportunity to recognize their children and share their experiences with other families.
The event is named for Noah James Schuenke, who was stillborn on Sept. 16, 2008, to Mark and Lindsay Schuenke of Biddeford. After a healthy, full-term pregnancy, the umbilical cord slipped into the birth canal before Noah’s head and was crushed during labor. His parents were left stunned and grieving.
Last year, the Schuenkes teamed up with other parents of stillborn babies and state lawmakers to pass Noah’s Law, which created certificates of birth resulting in stillbirth. Before the law was passed, parents of stillborn babies did not receive an official birth certificate.
Though he is honored to have his son’s name attached to the event, Mark Schuenke said the event could just as easily be named for any other baby who died too soon.
“We want to continue to see good come from this, but we don’t want the focus to be just about Noah. We want it to be about all the babies,” agreed Lindsay Shuenke. “The hope that comes with a baby starts the moment you find out you’re pregnant. This lets people recognize what they had.”
The Schuenkes, along with Labonte, Ron LaFlamme and Katherine O’Connor, a lactation consultant at Southern Maine Medical Center, are organizing the walk to draw attention to stillbirths, which some people are still reluctant to talk about. Mark Schuenke said he wants to help get rid of the misconception that, with medical advances, stillbirths don’t happen.
“You can see the change in people’s faces when I say my first was stillborn,” Lindsay Schuenke said. “One reason people are awkward about it is because they think we’ll be sad. I want people to know yes we’re sad, but talking about Noah doesn’t make it worse.”
A candlelight vigil and beach bonfire will be held the night before the walk as part of an international wave of light in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Labonte, an artist, has spent weeks creating a remembrance wall with 500 flowers on which parents can write their baby’s name and date of birth or share a photograph. She said she looks forward to talking to other families about their experiences.
“When you’re with another family, you can talk about your shared experience. You have something in common,” Labonte said. “A week or two goes by and people seem to forget. My family is stuck remembering every day.”
O’Connor said more education about stillbirths and unexplained infant deaths is needed. Since Noah’s Law was passed, six families have requested certificates of birth resulting in stillbirth, she said. That, she said, is likely because people aren’t aware they now have that option.
“We still have a lot of work to do,” she said.
All proceeds from the event will support First Candle, a national nonprofit organization created to unite parents, caregivers and researchers with other organizations to advance infant health and survival. Every year, more than 25,000 babies are stillborn across the country and nearly two-thirds of cases are unexplained.
Two years after Noah’s birth and a year and a half after Lily was born, the Labontes and Schuenkes continue to talk about their babies’ special place in their families and treasure the portraits taken for them at the hospital. Labonte was inspired by her daughter to create Lily’s Angels, a program where she makes clothes for stillborn babies. She encourages parents to have organizations such as Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to take portraits of their baby so they have something to grieve with.
“These babies are special and deserve the best. Even if it’s a 20-week pregnancy, they should have clothes that fit them,” Labonte said. “Time is so short, so precious, and you have the baby such a short time. It goes by so fast.”
For more information, look for both the Noah’s Walk and Lily’s Angels pages on Facebook. Updates about Noah’s Walk are posted online at noahswalk.wordpress.com.
Staff Writer Gillian Graham can be reached at 282-4337, ext. 213.
Staff Writer
Amy Labonte spent nine months carrying her daughter and a few short hours holding her after she was born still.
Yet Lily lives on in her mother’s heart and guides her to work with other families to raise awareness about stillborn babies and honor each “angel baby.” Labonte, who lives in Saco with her husband, Jason, and their three other children, has teamed up with other parents of stillborn babies to organize Noah’s Walk for Remembrance and Hope on Oct. 16.
The goal of Noah’s Walk is twofold: The event will raise money to support research, education and awareness efforts aimed at reducing the number of people who experience pregnancy and infant loss. It also will honor babies who have been lost and provide parents the opportunity to recognize their children and share their experiences with other families.
The event is named for Noah James Schuenke, who was stillborn on Sept. 16, 2008, to Mark and Lindsay Schuenke of Biddeford. After a healthy, full-term pregnancy, the umbilical cord slipped into the birth canal before Noah’s head and was crushed during labor. His parents were left stunned and grieving.
Last year, the Schuenkes teamed up with other parents of stillborn babies and state lawmakers to pass Noah’s Law, which created certificates of birth resulting in stillbirth. Before the law was passed, parents of stillborn babies did not receive an official birth certificate.
Though he is honored to have his son’s name attached to the event, Mark Schuenke said the event could just as easily be named for any other baby who died too soon.
“We want to continue to see good come from this, but we don’t want the focus to be just about Noah. We want it to be about all the babies,” agreed Lindsay Shuenke. “The hope that comes with a baby starts the moment you find out you’re pregnant. This lets people recognize what they had.”
The Schuenkes, along with Labonte, Ron LaFlamme and Katherine O’Connor, a lactation consultant at Southern Maine Medical Center, are organizing the walk to draw attention to stillbirths, which some people are still reluctant to talk about. Mark Schuenke said he wants to help get rid of the misconception that, with medical advances, stillbirths don’t happen.
“You can see the change in people’s faces when I say my first was stillborn,” Lindsay Schuenke said. “One reason people are awkward about it is because they think we’ll be sad. I want people to know yes we’re sad, but talking about Noah doesn’t make it worse.”
A candlelight vigil and beach bonfire will be held the night before the walk as part of an international wave of light in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Labonte, an artist, has spent weeks creating a remembrance wall with 500 flowers on which parents can write their baby’s name and date of birth or share a photograph. She said she looks forward to talking to other families about their experiences.
“When you’re with another family, you can talk about your shared experience. You have something in common,” Labonte said. “A week or two goes by and people seem to forget. My family is stuck remembering every day.”
O’Connor said more education about stillbirths and unexplained infant deaths is needed. Since Noah’s Law was passed, six families have requested certificates of birth resulting in stillbirth, she said. That, she said, is likely because people aren’t aware they now have that option.
“We still have a lot of work to do,” she said.
All proceeds from the event will support First Candle, a national nonprofit organization created to unite parents, caregivers and researchers with other organizations to advance infant health and survival. Every year, more than 25,000 babies are stillborn across the country and nearly two-thirds of cases are unexplained.
Two years after Noah’s birth and a year and a half after Lily was born, the Labontes and Schuenkes continue to talk about their babies’ special place in their families and treasure the portraits taken for them at the hospital. Labonte was inspired by her daughter to create Lily’s Angels, a program where she makes clothes for stillborn babies. She encourages parents to have organizations such as Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to take portraits of their baby so they have something to grieve with.
“These babies are special and deserve the best. Even if it’s a 20-week pregnancy, they should have clothes that fit them,” Labonte said. “Time is so short, so precious, and you have the baby such a short time. It goes by so fast.”
For more information, look for both the Noah’s Walk and Lily’s Angels pages on Facebook. Updates about Noah’s Walk are posted online at noahswalk.wordpress.com.
Staff Writer Gillian Graham can be reached at 282-4337, ext. 213.
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